Teething, the 9th Circle of Hell

Fifteen and a half months ago when I gave birth to Owen many thoughts went through my head - thank you Jesus for him not having his father's head, goodbye sleep, or on second thought maybe I should have taken the nurse up on the narcotics offer. But not a single thought as to teething. Owen was an early teether, his first two appearing around three and a half months, just like me says my mom. And even though breastfeeding, I took this as a good sign considering I never had braces while his father required ten years of metal correcting caging. And well I'm very cheap. Now after suffering through his first molars, one would think there would be the eye of the storm calm. But nope, his Dracula teeth are now making their debut - all four at the exact same time poking, prodding, and punishing his soft baby gums. Last night from 11:30 to 12:30, Owen rolled and screamed in pain while I cursed myself for falling asleep before administering his savior dose of Motrin. His shirts are constantly wet from the drool and his hand is becoming something of chewed meat. I finally have come to an understanding as to the concept of the Tooth Fairy. It is not a cute fantasy in order to give your child a few bucks for the arrival of his adult teeth, but the reminder of the torture that your son or daughter went through so you best make the appropriate restitution. At this point, we are hovering about a hundred dollars for pain and suffering associated with teething, there goes being cheap.