Tetris, Wedding Lady, Boston. My Mother’s Day Gift Kicked Ass. Some mothers get breakfast in bed, some mothers get flowers and some mothers, such as myself, get Nintendo DS Lites. Oh joy of joys! And today marks the first time in my entire life that I actually beat Tetris. I cleared those 200 lines and was in the zone, even with the lady next to me involved in heavy wedding preparations. Mind you she was about 40. I am sorry, but you 40 year old bride, do not need a big white dress or a huge ceremony. I understand that at long last after years of missing the bouquets, it is your turn, but at 40 you need not to wear white or command the attention of 200 guests. She was actually showing three different versions of her wedding invitations - each ornate and intricately bowed. I wanted to shake her and say “Lady, are you insane? Do you really think your invitees care?” But that is the wedding minded woman. In other news, I am going to Boston next week for the wedding of my dear friend Diane. So that should be exciting, not the trip back and forth across country with an infant, but still fun. It is at times when I am going back to Boston I realize how much I miss - mainly all of it having to do with food, in particular the Wellfleet Oyster and the Famous Roast Beef. I admit that I would often make fun of the “famous” attached to the roast beef, but then you move to San Francisco and you are PMSed, and the only food you want is a roast beef with sauce and cheese on an onion roll. But nothing similar is found because every god damn sandwich made in this city has avocado on it, not that I hate that, but my god. When a girl ranging with hormones wants a roast beef sandwich she either gets that sandwich or ends up crying in the tub at night pondering the decisions of her move, all because of a sandwich. As for the oyster situation, I like oysters of all kinds, but my favorites are Wellfleets. I love the saltiness of the juice, the plumpness of the body, the absolute tingly feeling that they create within. And I miss that feeling, since I use to indulge at least once a month. But now I am in a haven of west coast oyster faire, which is also good, but lacking to fulfill my Wellfleet need. So I am going to Boston with a few needs to be met, so if you see me on the street with oyster shells all around and my face streaked with roast beef sauce, back off - you never want to interrupt an animal as it eats.

File It Under TMI. First things first, I did in fact get a big ole pimple upon my chin on Saturday morning. This would be god punishing me. Those not familiar with God Punishing You must not be Catholic or raised by my mother - who would often say, “Well that is what you get, God punished you.” Personally, I can’t believe that God has the time, but he often goes out of his way to make my life so much more interesting. Today I have to discuss the fact that since I gave birth, my va-j-jay is prone to make noises. In fact, I think mostly what it is trying to convey is “God damn woman, what the hell was that 19 weeks ago?” The first few weeks after Owen was born, I was pretty sure I had the new star of American Idol between my legs. I can hear Randy now “Well Cassie’s Vag, you were a tad pitchy in parts, but dawg, I gotta say, I loved it.” Although it is less common now due to the implementation of the Kegel, its sweet song is still sometimes heard, usually at such moments when the train goes blissfully quiet. Hmmm, maybe this all is just a new punishment by God. What a jerk.