When Rainbows Vomit

There was a time when I would see little girls dressed like rainbow vomit and say “What is wrong with that mother?” That was before I had a girl, a girl who now picks her own clothing. Maggie is 2.5 years old, and has the fashion sense of an eccentric bag lady drunkard. “No, I want my tights, Mama!” “I want my boots!” “No, I do it, Mama!” It is pretty much to the point John and I throw up our hands and let her have at it. She is a girl very adamant (bordering on pyschosis) about her wants and dislikes. She HATES when I put her hair in ponytails, much preferring “my barrettes”. Last Saturday, she grabbed 8 barrettes and made John put them all in her hair. And seriously, this sucks because even though I am a tomboy, I loved doing my Barbie’s hair. Now I have a girl with hair, lots of curly ringlet hair that just screams “Play with me!!”, but, no, it is a steady stream of headbands and barrettes for Mags.

Today this is what Maggie wore:


Please note the cowboy boots, with blue tights, and pink tutu.


Her Beatles Shirt with bedazzled elastic as a bracelet (because you know, not like I can actually ever put her hair up in one).


And the hair. Today we have a blue and white striped headband with hot pink flowers. Maggie, opting for an around the head effect ala NBA stars, as well as a purple barrette - because hell be damned if this girl does not have a barrette in her hair.


Maggie McCall, Fashion Maven.

Give Me Your Money

I am a mere 9 days away from my first half marathon. I think that there will be no problems with this because last Wednesday I ran 10 miles. I never thought I would run 10 miles, unless someone with a machete was behind me with the inkling to kill. But I did, and it was fine and dandy. I was not sore the next day, but I did come down with a kid’s cold that knocked me out of the run for a week (I also was on vacation, so really don’t feel too bad for me). But next Saturday, August 27, I will be running the AT&T Half Marathon. 13.1 miles of awesome, at least that is what I am telling myself. The last 11 weeks I have thought this marathon was on Sunday, August 28. Last night finding otherwise. Which means either (a) my subconscious is really smart or (b) I am really stupid. I go with (a).

So if you read this blog and would like to donate to my fundraising page, please do -

http://www.race-sfgiants.com/TheGiantRace2011/cassiemccall

Thanks.

Just Shoot Me

Yesterday I got a crown for a back tooth and today I got my period complete with cramps. It is like a bonus of awesome over here at Cassie Central. I don’t really mind my period too much even with the cramps because it means I am not pregnant. So torture away uterus, I care not. But you back tooth that cracked into four without me knowing, you are an asshole. Although I am sure this is my punishment for having a slight addiction a few weeks back to Runts. Which are really, really good, but they require you to bite them using said back teeth. Runts 1, Cassie 0.

This was my first major dental work visit, up until this point it has only been the occasional cavity. Most of which I had when I was a wee lass of childhood age. I should have known there would be more pain involved in this procedure when the biggest needle ever filled with numbing solution was repeatedly injected into my lower left gum-line. I have come to the conclusion that I have super powers when it comes to anesthesia. My back is incapable of getting an epidural in the proper location and even with same I still felt the "oh so" large newborn head of Owen exiting my va-jay-jay. After 15 minutes, I was asked how my mouth felt. I said “tingling”, not right, as the hugest needle ever started its third series of injections in the soft flesh of my gums. Finally I was numb (or blacked out from pain). I sat back watching Its Complicated (my movie choice because doesn’t dental work scream Meryl Streep), as my tooth was whittled down to burning smells and screeching sounds, to be finally capped with a “temp.” Because guess what, I get to go back to get my "permanent" crown put on. What a bunch of bullshit. Maybe this appointment will be for the morning on the first day of my next period. And I will bring vodka.

Things I now know because of this temporary crown:

1. Chewing on only one side of your mouth is quite challenging and also requires you to eat slowly. I think this is the bonus of the crown because I am eating much less due to the fact I am not stuffing food at breakneck pace into my gullet because I am famished (which is pretty much all the time).

2. Crowns are fake teeth. I thought they were little hats that would just sit atop my tooth sparkling away. But nope, a quick look to Wikipedia informed how your real tooth is shaped down to a nugget so that your fake tooth can be glued upon that bone. Crowns are gross.

3. I never want a root canal.

4. Lots of food is “crunchy”, a bit difficult to avoid - as I take a bite of celery dipped in humus. I am eating on the one side, so don’t worry. This is me being a rogue. Fear me.

5. Vodka Gimlets help with pain. (I already knew this but any chance to justify my pseudo alcoholism is a-okay).

I am feeling better now and have come to terms with the fact that I am pretty sure I bought this all upon myself by stumbling on a box of Runts in Walgreens three months ago, and then eating them like the candy they are for a month straight. Now I get to pay $750 bux for this mistake. Oh, the dentist also told me I need Invisalign because as you age your teeth move forward and start turning and bending. Screw you old age.



(Disclaimer - these are not my actual teeth, jackass.)