Where Have I Been?

I have been on bed rest for the past eight weeks. My time in bed ends this Friday. There will be yodeling, and happiness, and of course, an attempt to get my leg functions back to an appropriate level before the arrival of one Ms. Margaret Nicole McCall. I wish I could say that I spent this time working on the great short story, or reading dozens of books, or engaging in anything other than the semi rot of my already pregnancy mushy brain. But nope, I am proud to admit here I did what I normally do – pick one show for a semi addiction and then watch all the baby shows I possibly can. Bringing Home Baby, yes. Deliver Me Home, yep. Birth Day, Baby Story, Amazing Births, Pregnancy for Dummies. Yes, fine people. Yes. I don’t know why I do this because during most of the birth parts, I sit there fascinated, and say to myself, “Holy crap. What the hell did I do to myself?” I think by doing this I am preparing myself for the day. I am a geek by nature, so I take this as my studying. But also I think I like to scare the bejesus out of myself so that nothing that truly happens can be that bad, because that one lady had her baby in the toilet. So as long as Maggie is not being dried off from a blue tidy bowl hue, I figure I did good. My show addiction this time has been Law and Order, SVU. Or those not in the know Law and Order, Special Victims Unit. The SVU deals with rapes, pedophiles, and the elderly – you know, special victims. I now think that everyone is a pedophile and am considering homeschooling. But then I quickly flash to those home schooled kids from the Scripps Spelling Bee, and think “I will take my chances.” So basically for the past 56 days I have scared myself witless with victim and vaginal abuses. Who said I can’t have fun?