J.Crew, Why you hating?

For Christmas I asked my mother to buy me some pant from J.Crew, trouser style corduroy pants to be exact. Surprisingly, instead of saying "Oh my God Cassie, I'm not paying that much money for a pair of pants", she bought them. They are very lovely except for one glaring design flaw. Those of you not in the know (a/k/a equipped with penises), trouser style is code for a wide leg (see example). So that basically with every step I take, the fabric comes into contact creating the tell tale corduroy swoosh. I walk, swoosh sounds. Most of the time when one is of an even keel mind this is no biggie, but quite another when you just got your "friend" and am so bloated you are considering entry in the Macy's Day Thanksgiving Parade. In order to combat this, I have been walking around the office with a stride that has my legs jetting out at 45 degree angles. Now I don't know what is worse - having someone think my thighs are rubbing together about to start a three alarm blaze or the sight of me rounding the corner as if I had just pooped my pants? Thoughts.