After watching last night's season premiere of America's Next Top Model, I had a few ideas in which I would like to share:

With her departure from the runway of Victoria's Secret and her TV talk show doing well, I think that our dear Tyra "Fierce" Banks has in fact decided to go the Oprah route. Not in terms of wild and all encompassing success, but rather - Fat Oprah. Did anyone else notice the size of her upper arms last night? Or the junk in her trunk? And let us not forget the repeated stories of starving herself in order to become a Top Model. I think it is time the food beast in Tyra is unleashed. No more modeling contracts, just her, a bucket of KFC and an appearance on Celebrity Fit Club in 2010.

Why can't we have more America's Tops anythings. For instance, would you tune in to watch the following - America's Next Top Crack Whore, hosted by Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown? Ah yeah fear not, I am right on the couch beside you. Can you imagine this genius of combination, maybe the ladies from Flavor Flav's House of Love can get involved, because this has all the makings for television history. For this week's challenge, our 13 crack whores are sent to a crack den wherein they must score crack. The catch, no cash!

Whitney: "Hi Girls."
Girls: "Hello Ms. Houston."
Bobby: "On today's challenge, you will be driven to a crack den."
Girls: "uh huh."
Whitney: "You must score crack. The catch being you will have no cash, just the clothes on your back."
Bobby: (snickering) "Not for long."

Oh the fun!

And finally, I am very much looking forward to more of the Jade and Furonda Exercises in Narcissism and High Self Esteem Workshops.