Hello Bowel Movement, My Old Friend. When Will You Come To Me Again? I have not pooped in almost 65 hours. Correction, I actually did just poop, but I don't think poop resembling hamster waste in size and amount qualifies. Especially after being on the toilet for fifteen minutes willing everything in my body to make it occur, which included breathing steadily with a rocking motion all the while praying to God asking why he has forsaken me. However, I don't think God listens to the pregnant and constipated, so my battle continues. This morning I was reading about my upcoming 15th week of pregnancy, which forewarned of the following: "Let’s talk about constipation. Or not. But it’s a fact of life for many pregnant women." Nothing like being in a state only to have it reinforced by the fine folks at Babyzone. Bitches. In an effort to get things moving on the advice of my mother, I have consumed about 30 sugar free jelly beans which have the warning "consumption my produce stomach discomfort and/or laxative effect." Please pray for me. But please not to God, because obviously he is not of kind ear. Perhaps a pray to Poopzilla, Banshee of the Bum or KakaLaka, Goddess of Going, maybe even a sacrifice. Please people, I need help.