Back to Work. I think there is no better illustration of my first day back to work, than the following: Sunday night I go to sleep antsy because of my reintroduction to the working world. I wake up, confident in my ability. I step into a steaming hot shower and while scrubbing my head with Aveda rosemary and mint shampoo a wave of emotion overwhelms me so that I begin to sob. And this cry is not mere weepy, it is wrenching, full guttural sobbing. So much so I wake John from a slumber with my woeful shower howl. Somehow I managed to get it together to take Owen to daycare and say a happy goodbye. But the sad just keep nagging me until finally on Wednesday evening I had an emotional episode where a straightjacket would have been welcomed. But since then I have accepted all, and have nary a worry. I do believe a good cry however crazy will often direct one to a more peaceful acceptance. That and the fact that I truly believe someday I will win the lottery. Go ahead and scoff, but someday I tell you. So during these past two weeks, there are some tidbits I have realized:

1. I am a social retard. Like all bedridden folks, I did not get out much. And with the introduction of an infant, my social life did not take a turn for the better. So after six months of myself, Owen, John and the television, the concept of adult conversation is perplexing. For some reason of late when people are talking to me, I find myself watching them. I have to force myself to actively participate and listen, because my mind wanders. On my first day back, while my boss told me of her impending retirement, and new house, and plans for the rest of her life, I just sat there smiling, watching and thinking “is this bitch every going to shut up.” I would so turn the station on her.

2. I love riding public transportation. Sure, public transportation has its bad - the delays, the smell, the crowding, but there is so much good on it too. And yes, I am talking about the weirdos. I don't think there is a person more fond of the freak than me. And they say circus freaks have no home now-a-days. As of yet, the train rides have been pretty mundane, aside from this one guy who sat, pulled out a calculator, and calculated nothing for approximately 20 minutes. Yep, good times. But I am waiting for the gold that will surely come. I cannot wait.

So that is pretty much it, and since I am at work I will be sure to post more. Because well it is work, and I now have the time. Funny isn't?