Tales From The NJudah Express

I am now a happy devotee to the NJudah Express which stops in the Outer Sunset then leaves like a bullet from 19th and Judah to Bush and Sansome. What was an hour or so commute is now a happily livable 35 to 45 minutes. The thing with buses though is that you often board them at the same time, and you and your fellow patrons are suddenly a bus posse. The same people day in and day out sitting in the same seats day in and day out. Because of this, I have come to notice the people on my bus. Today I present to you - Crazy Hair Lady.

Crazy Hair Lady is dubbed so because one day John and I sat in front of her and a friend. CHL began to go off on the fact that her hair was cut into layers by some arrogant Supercuts stylist when she specifically said - NO LAYERS. She lamented the fact that she was antsy about her hair and was dire need of a cut, so instead of going to her other less than $20.00 stylist who was on vacation, she went to Supercuts. This scourge of a stylist took scissors to her hair with the vigor of a layering ninja. She droned on and on in a voice an octave too low and medicatedly even. “So now I’ll have to grow my hair. And it will take at least a year. Last time someone cut my hair in layers, it took forever to grow out.” “I don’t understand, I did not ask for layers, I asked for an inch all around.” “I should have waited." On and on she went the entire bus ride.

All of this hair waxing I could understand, due to many an ill-advised (read PMSed) idea about a haircut. But this woman, this woman so adamant about her hair, so distressed about this layering massacre. This woman who I have seen day in and day out for weeks. She puts her butt length, dyed black, split-end ravaged hair piled on the top of her head in a ponytail secured by god forsaken scrunchie.

I was tempted to turn to her and say that what do you expect when you go to Supercuts with hair brittle, black and way too long for your age? They guy was doing you favor, Scrunchie. So shut up. I would like to point out that said scrunchie is always the same color and same style leading me to believe it is the same one.

Ah, buses. Next up - Gross Pervert Man.