Its Owen Time

Having an almost four year old is a bumpy life lesson in psychology. A tiny manic depressive who goes from happily excited for all things awesome to a whiny crazed person afraid “of everything”. But all in all, for the most part, and this is not the wine speaking, it is pretty fun. Today I bring a few “Owenisms”:

1. Owen - The Easy to Please. At bedtime, Owen and I indulge in Little Boy Stories wherein he picks the subject and I tell the tale. Although never spoken, it is understood that the “Little Boy” is Owen. These stories usually involve life lessons - the little boy who did not hit his sister, the little boy who stayed in bed even though he was scared, the little boy who learned how to make vodka from potatoes. Again, useful life lessons. Because his preschool class was going to the Boat Park today, that was the story’s focus. I began, “Once upon a time, there was a little boy, whose was going to the Boat Park with his classmates. They lined up, held hands and walked to the park - one block, two blocks, three blocks, four blocks, five blocks. Finally, they were at the Boat Park.” At this point, Owen turned to me and said “Mama, THAT IS UNBELIEVABLE.” Not really, but I like the enthusiasm.

2. Owen - The Ladies Man. Last Saturday while at the mall, Owen took the opportunity to greet every female mannequin with the following - “Pleased to me you. My name is Owen. What’s your name?” He did this twenty-two times. Not to actual people, or male mannequins, but mannequins of the female persuasion, meaning the ones with boobies. Yep. Obviously, his year of nursing proved quite impactful.

3. Owen - The Vocabulary Expert. While at Target, Owen come upon his Holy Grail: a Toy Story matchbox racing track. His two great loves (not sports related) combined. “I want Daddy.” “No, Owen.” “Why?”. “It is too expensive.” Flash forward to later in the evening where Owen on the toilet has finished pooping (parenthood is awesome!), and he reaches behind him for his toddler wipes taking about ten. John, living under my frugal ruling hand says to Owen “Owen, those are expensive, do you know what that means?” “Yes, Daddy. That means I don’t get that toy.” Ba Dam Dam.

4. Owen - The Ipad Dancer. Whenever he hears this song, this is what happens: