Ring Around The Collar

This morning I was ironing my shirt and came across a thought. I know, what mother with a child turning one irons her clothing for work. Me. Why? Because of my mother, a woman that to this day still irons jeans, ingrained it into my psyche. I have tried to go to work with semi-wrinkled clothing. The result being feelings I can only equate to those who have committed the crime of murder. I feel dirty, lonely and guilty - ravaged with the knowledge of wrinkled pants and shirt. But I digress. So as I was ironing the collar of my button down, I had the following thought - is that ring around the collar? Which lead to another thought - what the hell happened to the horror that was "ring around the collar"? Remember commercials like these:



Yeah, I do too. But here it is 2007, and I have heard not a whisper of the evil menace that was ring around the collar. After a quick google search, it seems that ring around the collar does still exists. It is the grime and dirt that collects as one's neck rubs into the fabric of the collar. Basically dead skin combined with sweat pooling. Good lord that is gross. However, it seems that society today is not fearful as it once was. How did this happen? Did lobbyists and supporters of ring around the collar make Wisk abandon its movement to abolish same? I mean with all the freaking guys out there wearing stupid striped collared button down shirts, one would think there would be some sort of crisis concerning the Ring. But nope, it seems this scourge has been swept under the rug. And I am here to rectify this. The ring must be combatted. Forget global warming and the war in Iraq. Down with the ring!!! Down!!!!!!! Please join me in my campaign. Donations gladly accepted.