The other evening, I entered Safeway to make a few grocery store purchases - a bottle of wine, and 2 pints of ice cream. And as I waited in line gazing upon my items, I realized that I had the very things that screamed female, single and doomed - ice cream and white wine. I wanted to scream that someone did in fact like me, and at the age of 32 I had not given into the magnetism of alcohol combined with cold creamery crack. But alas, I fear the cashier Juan was not fooled as he looked at me with a pitiful gaze. Ah well, time to invest in a fake wedding band.